This is tough, isn’t it? If you’re a mother of two or three kids who are planning to have more kids, then maybe yes. But, if you are mothering two or three kids and are too overworked, then you may be wanting to hit me in the face. And I don’t blame you if you do.
The point I want to make here is purely based on my experience and some additional research. If you are thinking whether three or four kids will be better for you, or are simply intrigued by how to know how many kids to have, then stick around, and I’ll answer your questions. Down below, I count the many reasons why I think it is an absolute joy to have more kids in the family.
The third one can get neglected.
There is always one kid that gets neglected in the odd number of siblings. This is usually the youngest one who is unable to stick with his elder siblings because he is left out of everything. There are tiny things that a group of three can do, especially if the third kid is a lot younger than the rest.
However, if there is the fourth kid, then the third one automatically gets a partner. The siblings can then create teams and play around; however, they want to, which can teach them to become closer to each other and understand each other.
You get to appreciate your kids more.
The fourth kid is bound to learn from his elders and grow up quicker than all of them. You are already aware of this, which might make it a sad affair, but you learn to appreciate him along with all the rest when they are still young.
You have already experienced motherhood with the other three; the fourth one will only bring you more joy and love, which will increase your joy of being a mother altogether. It will make you realize how your other kids are already too old, and so your expression of love will also increase with the fourth one.
The more, the better. Trust me!
Contrary to what you think, your life won’t get more complicated if a fourth kid comes into your family. With the third kid, you already decided on a difficult life. Having a fourth kid will help you settle down with that difficulty.
Three kids are a little more problematic than any other number because they bring a sort of an imbalance to the pair you had. This is when you step into a more complex territory as you see that now you need more of everything because you have three kids. I mean, you now have one more kid than you have hands. It is okay to feel a little frustrated.
What I’ve learned is that with the fourth kid, you get to relax into the increased amount of mothering. You accept it more as your perspective on parenting changes from the mother of one to a mother of many with the fourth kid.
Your parenting changes.
As parents, we have unusually high expectations of our kids. In a world that is a little too competitive, you want your children to be better than the rest. In this regard, you push them and try to provide them all the resources they need to become successful.
However, you learn to take it a little easy when the fourth kid comes around. The fourth kid shows you that everything will be alright as you see him grow exponentially faster than the rest of his siblings. You tend to ease your expectations of the fourth one and even take it easy on yourselves as parents.
Your elder ones can pitch-in.
Kids are complex creatures. When they are younger, they resent each other, but as they get older, they learn to be understanding of each other and even appreciate their siblings. The eldest kid sees his second and third as competition in parenting needs and tries not to get involved. By the time the fourth one comes along, chances are that he has grown up a little and is considerate towards all his younger siblings. He might want to take care of the little baby himself.
This is when you know you can count on them. Ask them to do chores and help out with the baby and see them comply. Handing over any big responsibility of the fourth one is not advised as they are still kids themselves, but having them help around isn’t at all wrong and should be encouraged.
Having four kids can be less stressful.
A survey done by a media group found that mothers of four in the U.S.A are reportedly stressed than mothers of three or below. It was also found that mothers having three kids are the most stressed than mothers with any other number of kids.
There can be a number of reasons for this. I personally don’t know how I’m able to cope. Maybe it’s that we have learned to better adjust to the pressure of having a big family, or perhaps it is because me and my partner have been comfortable with stress throughout our lives. I think it’s a combination of both and some other factors.
As a mother of four, I have received continuously comments about how stressful it might be as if I don’t know already. People generally think that bigger families mean more strain. Well, I don’t think it is, and I the survey proves it.
The fourth makes everything better.
The fourth kid brings with him a lot more of everything to the family. The love multiplies manifold with another kid, and that is what matters in the end. The three kids you have brought you so much joy, the fourth will only bring more. Having four kids comes with challenges, but you learn to accept them more and allow yourselves to take it easy. If you are thinking about how many kids to have, have four. It will make you all the better.
If you are still asking yourselves how many kids to have and whether three or four kids is better, then I don’t know how I can change your mind. The reasons I’ve listed above should paint a picture illustrious enough of how much better it is to add another child into the mix. It worked for me, I think and hope it can for you as well!
Erin Keller is the mother of three boys aged 1four, 1three, 11, and 1 girl aged four. She currently resides in Fairfield but was brought up in Cincinnati, Ohio, where she also completed her B.A. in Business Economics in 200three. Erin has been very involved with her kids, trying to balance work and life since 2011. Her experience with her kids provided her exciting content for her blog. The blog is Erin’s passion and an ongoing effort of a mom with four kids.
Visit https://momoffourkiddos.com/ for more content on Erin and her family.
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